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deep breath


Been having the writing itch/ache for a fews days and actually had a day today when I could sit and write. My writing program scrivener (if I haven't mentioned it's amazing qualities yet, know it is amazing) would not open. Went to the website and re-downloaded, no problem. Went to get to work... MY FILES WERE GONE!!! THE files. Lainey and Varick and Dee and Lance and Dane. Gone.

I tried to calm myself as I searched for them. I'm sure they're here somewhere, just got shuffled around when I downloaded the new version. Calm down, slow your breathing... DO NOT CRY. Nope, not in that file either. Let's try under Documents... things always get lost in the documents folder. Ok, not there either, but they have to be somewhere! Keep looking.

I was hyperventilating by this point. My hands were shaking as I tried to maneuver the mouse. My chest started pounding. My panic-meter was rapidly rising. The kids were getting restless and starting to fight... yeah, I knew our quiet, peaceful, non-busy day would bite me in the butt. Emeryss tried to ask me for something and I completely snapped at her, which I immediately felt guilty for. I turned to apologize to her and she said, "Mom? What's wrong? Why are you going to cry? It's ok. I can get a snack by myself."

I seriously searched the computer for over half an hour. And I was in tears.

Big sigh. My heart is still racing a bit, but I finally did find them. Thank the Lord, because I don't know if I would have recovered if all that writing had been lost.

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