Skip to main content

The Light Persists

 A few weeks ago, there was a total solar eclipse. There have only been 15 visible in various parts of the United States in the last 150 years, making it a once in a lifetime experience for many. The anticipatory excitement was palpable, parties were planned, venues were booked out months in advance; the metroplex experienced a shortage of porta-potties due to the influx of visitors, all flocking here to witness the miraculous workings of the universe. At the moment of totality, when the world was cast into darkness, there was a collective gasp. Then crowds erupted in exclamations of wonder. High fives, fist bumps, and hugs were abundant as on-lookers basked in the ordered glory of the laws of physics. 



As the minutes stretched on, a soul-deep quiet settled.The world stilled. We breathed as one. Some put hands to their hearts as our infinite smallness grew under the umbrella of that moment, when time and space stood still.


Suddenly, with a burst of light, the spell was broken as the world was washed anew in color and life. It was all anyone could talk about for days – Did you see the eclipse? Wasn’t it amazing? Can you believe how dark it was? – and everyone scrambled for adequate words to describe their experience of the divine, to make meaning of what they had witnessed. 


Similarly, we each have eclipses in our lives; these moments of darkness where all we know is cast into irregular shadows. Some of us only experience these types of eclipses, like the one experienced by this area of the map on April 8th, once in their lifetime. For me, it seems that my life has been a back-to-back series of such events. However, unlike scientists with a solar eclipse, I cannot calculate or predict when these times are coming nor how long they will last. Unlike during a solar eclipse, there usually isn’t a host of people there with me witnessing the order of things or holding their breath with me until the light returns, pondering on the meaning of it all, stalwartly standing beside me as I wait the darkness out.


Humans say ‘totality’ to describe these moments of darkness during an eclipse, when the moon in its fullness comes between us and the sun. And yet, in the eclipse events in my life, the darkness is never totally complete;  in these moments of totality, though shadows fall and darkness obscures my view, when the whole of life’s messy, painful, uncontrollable chaos covers the light, even then, the darkness is not my totality. The Light persists.


You see the Son, in His infinite glory, can never be completely hidden, despite the relentless attempts of chaos with the full force of its entirety to block His light. The Son with all His boundless mercy and love in His relentless pursuit of His children, cannot be contained from reaching me.


His Light persists.


And so can I.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Being Dismissed from Services

I heard those dreaded words today. "I'm afraid that most likely your child doesn't qualify for services anymore." I paused afraid that if I responded too soon I'd yell or cry. I asked a few clarifying questions, blinking back tears of panic. I held my own for nearly the entire conversation. And then the therapist said, "You should be so proud, Mom. He's made so much progress." Then, I cried. The truth is he has made so much progress. The truth is I am very proud of him. Still, the truth is I hate hearing those words. Every time a specialist says to me that one of my children "no longer qualifies" for services, bile-like panic rises in my chest. "But he still has such anger issues," I said. And, "His impulsiveness gets in his way on a daily basis," I added. Doesn't she know? Can't she see the things I see? "I did tell you that he pulled a knife on his brother last week, didn't I?" Somehow she h...
6 comments
Read more

Beautiful Disaster: His own brand of Awesome

Published on the Liahona Project, link here I took my oldest son back-to-school shopping the other day.  It was.... awesome.  sad.  exciting.  funny. inspiring.  surprising.  mama-heartbreaking. Big Brother was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome in 2009, when he was eight years old.  It was years of evaluations and developmental preschools and speech therapists.  Years of teachers bringing their concerns to me and me taking those concerns to doctors and, and, and...  years of misdiagnoses.  It was years of meltdowns and vomiting and aggression and wondering feet, running feet and hearing him say things like "I'm a bad son.  I'm going to let a car hit me," as those feet took him out the front door. And then that moment, that singular sentence, "Your son is on the spectrum," that changed everything, that changed nothing.  That bitter-sweet recognition that he was, in fact, atypical. And we've had years in between that the...
3 comments
Read more

Diligence and Obedience Bring Safety and Peace

I've had a few people ask for copies of a talk that I recently gave in our ward's Sacrament meeting, so I am putting it here with the thought that maybe others will appreciate it too. Please find at the end a reference list for all sources I used in planning and preparing this talk. Diligence and Obedience Bring Safety and Peace Today we live in an unstable world. Due to this instability many are security obsessed. They buy the top-of-the-line locks and alarm systems for our homes and our vehicles. They buy expensive insurance policies, even for their pets. They invest their money in stocks and bonds to "keep it safe." We have large militaries and governments. We have nuclear weapons as deterrents. We band hand lotion and breast milk and nail clippers from airplanes. We even go so far as to invade others privacy in the name of security, so that we ourselves can be safe. That's not to say that any, or all, of these things are wrong or even unne...
Post a Comment
Read more