This Side of Invisible

Been having the writing itch/ache for a fews days and actually had a day today when I could sit and write. My writing program scrivener (if I haven't mentioned it's amazing qualities yet, know it is amazing) would not open. Went to the website and re-downloaded, no problem. Went to get to work... MY FILES WERE GONE!!! THE files. Lainey and Varick and Dee and Lance and Dane. Gone. I tried to calm myself as I searched for them. I'm sure they're here somewhere, just got shuffled around when I downloaded the new version. Calm down, slow your breathing... DO NOT CRY. Nope, not in that file either. Let's try under Documents... things always get lost in the documents folder. Ok, not there either, but they have to be somewhere! Keep looking. I was hyperventilating by this point. My hands were shaking as I tried to maneuver the mouse. My chest started pounding. My panic-meter was rapidly rising. The kids were getting restless and starting to fight... yeah, I knew

On New Year's Eve, I was busy trying to calm my children after dinner and making them promises of movies and popcorn and no bedtimes when the phone rang. "Come home as soon as you can," my aunt said, "your dad is back in the hospital and he's on full life support. The doctors says there is nothing more they can do and they won't keep him on life support forever. A decision has to be made." I knew that phone call was coming. If not that night, the next or sometime in the next month or if we were lucky, maybe sometime next year. Dad had been in and out of the hospital the whole month of December. Four heart attacks in three weeks is simply too much for one body to handle. Especially if that body has endured a life-time of abuse (think: sex, drugs and rock and roll). Dad had been ill for years. It was a miracle he made it this long. My first selfish thought when I hung up the phone was: At least I got to have Christmas with my husband a