It’s
like being adrift at sea, constantly having to fight the waves and
current so that you don’t slip under. Occasionally a piece of drift
wood might float by and if you’re lucky, you’ll catch it. But even at
that, it being drift wood, water-logged and rotted, after some time it
starts to crack and break apart under your weight. You cry out in panic
as it begins to disintegrate in your hands, leaving you floundering,
trying to recover, coughing and spluttering, gasping for air, praying
someone will save you or that maybe, you can figure out how to save
yourself.
photo credit here |
You
know land is out there somewhere. Once or twice you’ve caught a
glimpse of it. You thought you even saw a small group of people there.
They were partying, gathered around a fire and possibly dancing. Damn
them! While you’re trapped out here, treading water, completely
exhausted. You start praying another bit of drift wood will come along,
you’re always praying for that. And once you catch a piece, you pray
it will last until you can get out of the water... or, at least, until
another piece comes your way.
It's
hard to breath. And a numbness has set in, whether from the elements
or from fatigue you're not sure. You feel as if pieces of you might
just start sloughing off in thick sections one layer at a time until
there’s nothing left of you. At first, your mind was able to escape
the water even if you couldn’t, but now... now, you begin to ponder how
easy it would be to let go, to just stop moving. To drown. It’s the
noise of it all that gets to you most. That constant, maddening wind
and wave, that constant roaring input. It won’t let you escape anymore.
But to drown... Maybe then, yes, possibly then, someone would come and
rescue you--either way, at least it would be an escape.
You’ve seen it before. Had your heart begin to race when the chopper came into view. Though you can’t see the others out there, you know they are there, you know because of the chopper. It comes from time to time. It comes and frees the other slaves of the great water. It took you some time, but you finally figured out why it came for others, but never yet for you. It only comes when someone is actually drowning, when they’ve decided to stop fighting, to stop moving, to give into the depths. Or perhaps haven't decided at all, but just cannot go on. That is what tipped you off, those shouts of terror. Those few moments of horrific, terrifying death that sometimes you can hear. When someone is drowning not because they’ve given up and simply slipped away, but rather because their bodies won’t hold out any more. Those moments where the mind is still willing, but the body is not. The cries and splashing... and then the chopper dropping its ladder to pull a half-drowned body or two from the water, if it's lucky. More often than not, those bodies are limp, grotesquely hanging at odd angles, dangling from the rope. They're already dead.
You’ve seen it before. Had your heart begin to race when the chopper came into view. Though you can’t see the others out there, you know they are there, you know because of the chopper. It comes from time to time. It comes and frees the other slaves of the great water. It took you some time, but you finally figured out why it came for others, but never yet for you. It only comes when someone is actually drowning, when they’ve decided to stop fighting, to stop moving, to give into the depths. Or perhaps haven't decided at all, but just cannot go on. That is what tipped you off, those shouts of terror. Those few moments of horrific, terrifying death that sometimes you can hear. When someone is drowning not because they’ve given up and simply slipped away, but rather because their bodies won’t hold out any more. Those moments where the mind is still willing, but the body is not. The cries and splashing... and then the chopper dropping its ladder to pull a half-drowned body or two from the water, if it's lucky. More often than not, those bodies are limp, grotesquely hanging at odd angles, dangling from the rope. They're already dead.
You
pray they’ll come for you. But you know they won’t. They won’t come
because right now your head is still above the surface. Do you dare allow it to
sink for that chance of rescue? How else is it to be accomplished? How
did those others figure a way out? You are so tired, so water-logged, so numbed, how will you ever reach the shore on your own?
It’s a perpetual trap and no matter how much you fight against it you just
can’t seem to escape.
Yes, my friends, that is exactly what it's like. What debt is like. You see, the Devil himself invented credit.
Comments