Skip to main content

Not Done Yet


There's a tree in my front yard that's quite pathetic. It has but a small tuft of leaves on its topmost branches. Many, strike that, all of its lower branches are long gone, stripped away by forceful winds. And yet the tree is hanging on, growing ever higher, its leaves as green or greener than its healthier, neighboring trees. It reaches for the sky, taller than all the others, waving its arms unceasingly. “I am still here,” it says, “I’m not done yet.”

And I wonder, do the trees resent the wind? Would you if it had ripped away pieces of you, large important parts that define you? Do the trees hate the constant push and pull of the breeze? Do they shake as if to say, “go away you merciless bully, quit picking at me, and let me alone?” Are they scared of the storms?

Perhaps they aren’t.

What if, instead they loved the wind, thanked it for the constant companionship? Maybe they adore the way their leaves look as they wind whips through them, all shimmery in the sunlight? Is it possible that they get giddy as the wind wraps their branches, tangles around them, and dances with them in intimate ways? Do they miss the wind when it's gone?

Perhaps the trees know the truth… that without the wind their own strength would be limited? That their lives would be nothing, just a boring string of sameness.

I love that tree out my front window. And like it, I have grown to appreciate the winds of life, to dance with them, to take the opportunity root myself deeper, and absorb strength from their energy. I too reach for the heavens, waving my arms and say, “I’m still here… I’m not done yet.”


"I'm not done yet."

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Life on the Spectrum Snapshot: Pre-Diagnosis

He heaved between sobs, opening the car door and vomiting right there in the car line. I prayed that no one had noticed. “Okay, okay,” I soothed him, patting his back. “It’s okay. Put your seat belt back on, we’ll go home.” He was so hysterical that my words didn’t, couldn’t penetrate. He cried into his hands, rocking back and forth. “I can’t. I can’t. I can’t,” he cried. I pulled out of the car line and into the parking lot. “Mommy, I want breakfast,” a little voice peeped from backseat. “You said breakfast after Buddy go to school.” “I know,” I said, getting out of the car and walking around to Buddy’s side. I opened the door to buckle him in and he kicked at me. “NO!” he screamed. “No. No. No.” He thrashed in his seat trying to keep me from forcing him out of the car. His small fist makes contact with my cheek. “Buddy. Buddy. Buddy! Stop!” I yelled. Sniffles and sobs started in the back seat. “Buddy in trouble,” Thing 2 cried. “I hungry,” Thing 1 whined. And the ...

Being Dismissed from Services

I heard those dreaded words today. "I'm afraid that most likely your child doesn't qualify for services anymore." I paused afraid that if I responded too soon I'd yell or cry. I asked a few clarifying questions, blinking back tears of panic. I held my own for nearly the entire conversation. And then the therapist said, "You should be so proud, Mom. He's made so much progress." Then, I cried. The truth is he has made so much progress. The truth is I am very proud of him. Still, the truth is I hate hearing those words. Every time a specialist says to me that one of my children "no longer qualifies" for services, bile-like panic rises in my chest. "But he still has such anger issues," I said. And, "His impulsiveness gets in his way on a daily basis," I added. Doesn't she know? Can't she see the things I see? "I did tell you that he pulled a knife on his brother last week, didn't I?" Somehow she h...

Diligence and Obedience Bring Safety and Peace

I've had a few people ask for copies of a talk that I recently gave in our ward's Sacrament meeting, so I am putting it here with the thought that maybe others will appreciate it too. Please find at the end a reference list for all sources I used in planning and preparing this talk. Diligence and Obedience Bring Safety and Peace Today we live in an unstable world. Due to this instability many are security obsessed. They buy the top-of-the-line locks and alarm systems for our homes and our vehicles. They buy expensive insurance policies, even for their pets. They invest their money in stocks and bonds to "keep it safe." We have large militaries and governments. We have nuclear weapons as deterrents. We band hand lotion and breast milk and nail clippers from airplanes. We even go so far as to invade others privacy in the name of security, so that we ourselves can be safe. That's not to say that any, or all, of these things are wrong or even unne...